|
Lemony Snicket
2003-07-10 @ 10:55 a.m.
Apropos Harry Potter. Vielleicht kann ich ja mal auf etwas hinweisen. Lemony Snicket�s �A series of unfortunate events� ist besser. Ich bin fast sicher, dass ich das auch sagen wuerde, wenn Lemony Snicket nun der grosse Hype der Stunde waere, und das ist er ja ausserdem nicht, und vielleicht ist ja die ganze Welt auch sowieso nur Einbildung. Also egal.
Lemony Snicket und Joanne Rowling, oder wie die Frau heisst, sind wie, also, Kraft Scheibletten und so ein abgepackter Kaeseblock vom Pennymarkt, wobei Lemony Snicket die Scheibletten ist, was immer das heissen soll. Also mit anderen Worten, auch bloss so prozessiertes Zeug, aber auf so viele verschiedene Arten witziger. Ausserdem sind die Buecher wirklich duenner, und es gibt schon neun Baende: An der Analogie stimmt einfach alles.
Lemony Snicket ist OK uebersetzt, ich habe die ersten drei Baende auf Deutsch gelesen, bevor ich zwei davon an einen sympatischen jungen Mann verschenkt habe (�der sie gut fand).
Ich zitiere mal den Klappentext von Band Fuenf, �The austere academy�.
Dear Reader,
If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don�t. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.
Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system.
It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night�s sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
und...
Chapter One
If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn�t give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. Carmelita Spats was rude, she was violent, and she was filthy, and it is really a shame that I must describe her to you, because there are enough ghastly and distressing things in this story without even mentioning such an unpleasant person.
It is the Baudelaire orphans, thank goodness, who are the heroes of this story, not the dreadful Carmelita Spats, and if you wanted to give a gold medal to Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire, it would be for survival in the face of adversity. Adversity is a word which here means �trouble�, and there are very few people in this world who have had the sort of troubling adversity that follows these children wherever they go. Their trouble began one day when they were relaxing at the beach and received the distressing news that their parents had been killed in a terrible fire, and so were sent to live with a distant relative named Count Olaf.
Weiter�
Am Ende des Buches weist ein dramatischer Brief auf das naechste hin:
To my kind editor,
Please excuse this ridiculously fancy stationery (Briefpapier). I am writing to you from 667 Dark Avenue, and this is the only paper available in the neighborhood. My investigation of the Baudelaire orphans� stay in this wealthy and woeful place is finally complete � I only pray that the manuscript will reach you.
Not next Tuesday, but the Tuesday after that, purchase a first-class, one-way ticket on the second-to-last train out of the city. Instead of boarding the train, wait until it departs and climb down to the tracks to retrieve the complete summary of my investigation, entitled THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR, as well as one of Jerome�s neckties, a small photograph of Veblen Hall, a bottle of parsley soda, and the doorman�s coat, so that Mr. Helquist can properly illustrate this terrible chapter in the Baudelaires� life.
Remember, you are my last hope that the tales of the Baudelaire orphans can finally be told to the general public.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Doch nett, oder?
Ausserdem ist dieser Lemony Snicket Charakter neben seiner Taetigkeit als Chronist des traurigen Lebens der Baudelaire-Waisen selbst von allen moeglichen dunklen Geheimnissen umrankt.
Though his formal training was chiefly in rhetorical analysis, he has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. This project, being published serially by HarperCollins, takes him to the scenes of numerous crimes, often during the offseason. Eternally pursued and insatiably inquisitive, a hermit and a nomad, Mr. Snicket wishes you nothing but the best.
I beg of you, do not click here! This link will enable you to purchase these dreadful books, and then you might read them by mistake!
But most of all, the laugh sounded cruel. It is always cruel to laugh at people, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself. But the Baudelaires were not wearing ugly hats. They were young children receiving bad news, and if Vice Principal Nero really had to laugh at them, he should have been able to control himself until the siblings were out of earshot.
Aeusserst wuenschenswerte Unterhaltung fuer die Damen und Herren Heranwachsenden, geschmackssicher, sowie, for what it�s worth, ganz schoen hip, wenn man mich fragt.
<<|>>
You might have missed...
Vogelbabyauferstehung - 2011-06-14
Kinder brauchen Ziegenboecke - 2011-05-17
Psychology 101 for the Toddler Set - 2011-02-10
Yesterday's news - 2011-02-03
Neuer Eintrag - 2010-11-16
Ruhmsuechtig!
Klickt dieses Banner und katapultiert mich an die Spitze dieser elitaeren Diary-Top-Ten!!
Koennte ich natuerlich auch selber tun,
aber gerade eben habe ich diesen irrsinnigen Armkrampf...
|